


Wild Roses

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-01-26 03:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1672640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an AU where all of Supernatural's wonderful female characters don't die prematurely, Anna is never captured and taken back to heaven - she flies solo, watching the apocalypse begin from the sidelines. At least, that is, until she hears that Ruby has betrayed the Winchesters and was exorcised and trapped in hell again. Her curiosity getting the better of her, Anna decides that she must know what really happened the day that Lucifer rose again…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was an idea that came to me when talking with a friend about how sad it was that all of supernatural's wonderful female characters either died, were vilified, or both. I decided that I had to write something where that didn't happen - at least not to all of them.  
> It is canon until 4x21, then there is divergence. It is implied Destiel (like the show, except a bit more obvious), and ruby/sam and anna/dean are minor relationships.  
> It's rated T for language, violence, and sensuality.

With a flutter of her wings, Anna materialized on the docks behind Castiel. A few seconds passed as the streetlights flickered and the cool night air flooded her skin, making her shiver slightly. Castiel turned around, his face utterly expressionless - but wasn't his face always blank? Anna guessed that it must be because he'd never been human. How could you understand emotions if you'd never been able to truly feel them?

"What did you do?" Anna asked.

"You shouldn't've come, Anna."

_Oh please_ , Anna thought to herself. _As if it's your place to tell me where I can and can't be_. Cas was becoming so ridiculously arrogant - she'd have to put him back in his place when she got a chance. "Why would you let out Sam Winchester?"

Castiel continues to stare at her. "Those were my orders."

"Orders? Cas, you saw him. He's drinking demon blood. It's so much worse than we thought," she snapped. "Dean was trying to stop him!" It was so unlike the Cas she knew to do something like this. Anna thought she had turned him to her cause - maybe she had been wrong.

"You really shouldn't have come," Cas said again, looking at something behind Anna. She turned around quickly to see two other angels closing in on her.

"I thought you were different, Cas," Anna said, turning again to face him and slowly walking towards him. "I thought you were fighting for the Winchesters. I thought you agreed with me!" Castiel's face remained expressionless. "Clearly, I was wrong," Anna hissed at him. "Dean would be so disappointed in you." The other angels reached towards her. Castiel refused to meet her eyes, turning away. Anna gasped, then disappeared just as the angels grabbed at her.

Just moments later, Anna found herself on a street in Ilchester, Maryland. Confused by her location, she looked around, taking in her surroundings. There were a few closed shops on the street and several houses, and the streetlights were flickering thanks to her sudden arrival. Anna took a deep breath, and backed up against one of the houses, leaning up against the brick wall. Something felt wrong about this town - something was going to happen here. The only question was what, and when.

 

* * *

 

Ruby was starting to get very, very irritated. Just when she thought she had Sammy Winchester dancing to her tune, he would turn around on her and start doing the samba instead - not what she asked for, and not what she needed right now. Just when she thought she had him completely whipped, he'd stand up and try to dominate her instead, in every conceivable way - not just the sexual one. She needed Sammy completely devoted to killing Lilith, not trying to run back to Dean and Bobby.

For months and months before that stupid ass angel Cas just had to raise Dean from perdition, Ruby had watched over Sammy. She'd protected him, taught him, fulfilled all of his needs, and molded him. And no one could say that Dean had done it better. The only real differences in the way that they'd cared for Sammy was that Dean had molded Sam in his image, and Ruby had molded him in Lucifer's. Oh, and of course, Dean hadn't fucked his brother. At least, as far as Ruby knew he hadn't - but really, with those two, who could tell?

And then Dean crawled out of his coffin like some kind of zombie with that huge ugly handprint on his shoulder. He showed up at their hotel room door out of the blue, and Sam forgot Ruby in a heartbeat. Kicked her out of the room, out of the building, and didn't call her for a week. When Dean found out that Ruby was back, not only did he get angry at her and continuously insult her, no matter how many times she saved his ass, but he also became furious with Sam. And when he knew everything that they'd done over the summer, he nearly murdered them both.

They were so close to finishing everything now. They had Lilith's location, the location of Lucifer's cage - St. Mary's Convent. They had captured Lilith's chef, and bled her dry. Sammy was so full of demon blood that his eyes were going dark. Now they just had to make it to the Convent and kill the demon bitch. Then Lucifer would be free, and all of Ruby's mistakes would be forgiven. He'd be so grateful to her for bringing him back that he'd make her his right hand woman - he had to. Lucifer was her messiah, her way to forgiveness and victory. If she had to be a demon, then she wanted to be top dog. And once Lucifer had made Ruby powerful, all of those arrogant dicks downstairs would be sorry for what they'd done to her.

"Are we sure this is the right place?" Sam asked, staring at the gate of the Convent.

"Yes, of course we're sure. Can't you feel it?"

"Sort of. I feel something."

"That'd be all the demon blood."

"So it's telling me that I'm close to Lilith?"

Ruby smirked. _Close to Lucifer, more like_. "Yeah, you could say that," she answered. Sammy crossed his arms, his eyes still on the simple wrought iron gate.

"You're not scared, are you Sammy?" She asked, her voice slightly taunting.

"Of course not," said Sam, squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath. "Let's go kill that evil son of a bitch." Ruby snorted. "And here I thought Lilith was female," she muttered. "Guess you still can't shake off Dean's stupid ass language."

Sammy completely ignored her, pulling a gun out of his jacket and shooting the lock. The lock snapped open, and Ruby pulled it off and pushed the gates open, stalking inside. "Come on," she hissed at Sam. "What are you waiting for?" Sam walked in behind her, kicking the gates closed. "Let's go."  
A few moments later, they were striding into the sanctuary. Sammy flung out his hand, throwing Lilith against the wall. Ruby was breathing heavily - they were so close. Almost there. Sam waved his hand again, forcing Lilith agains the altar. His heart was beating so loudly that Ruby could almost hear it. With effort, she pushed away the impulse to grab him and fuck him against the wall. Ruby liked to pretend that her attraction to him only came from the idea that he'd be Lucifer's vessel, but who was she kidding? The guy was hot. Particularly when he got like this.

Ruby turned around, looking into the hallway, to see Dean watching. With a smirk and a wave of her hand, she closed the doors and locked him out. _Well we certainly can't have him busting in here and ruining everything, can we?_

"I've been waiting for this…for a very long time," Sam said, his eyes on Lilith.

"Then give me your best shot," she answered. Sammy thrust out a hand, burning Lilith with his powers. Lilith screamed with pain, and Sam lowered his hand, the light fading. Ruby could hear Dean shouting Sam's name from the other side of the doors. If Ruby had been a religious woman, she would've been praying that Sam didn't hear him. But a demon can't really call herself religious.

"Dean?" Sam turned around.

"What are you waiting for?!" shouted Ruby. "Now, Sam, now!"

"You turned yourself into a freak. A monster," laughed Lilith. "And now you're not gonna bite? I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable."

With an angry snarl, Sam whirled around again, and Ruby watched as his eyes turned completely black. Lilith began to burn again, her body convulsing. Ruby held her breath. Finally, Lilith went limp, collapsing on the ground with blood flowing out of her. Sam's eyes returned to normal - he was drained of all of his power.

The blood was pouring out of Lilith, and slowly forming the familiar symbol that Ruby recognized from all her research - the symbol that marked the exit to Lucifer's cage.

"What the hell?" Sam stared at the blood, confused.

"I can't believe it," Ruby breathed, starting to smile.

"Ruby, what's going on?"

"You did it. I mean, it was a little touch-and-go there for a while, but…you did it!"

"What? What - what did I do?"

Ruby was really smiling now. Finally, finally, everything she'd done, all the shit she'd gone through, was going to pay off. "You opened the door," she said. "And now he's free at last. He's free at last!"

"No, no, no. No, he - Lilith, I stopped her. I killed her!"

"And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal," Ruby recited fervently. "And you bust her open. Now guess who's coming to dinner."  
"Oh my god."

"Guess again."

Dean was pounding on the door again. Ruby had to figure out how to pacify Sammy, at least until Lucifer returned and took one this body - maybe she could even persuade him that she'd done the right thing.

"You don't even know how hard this was! All the demons out for my head. No one knew," Ruby said, feeling phantom pains in her stomach from when she'd been cut open with her own knife. "I was the best of those sons of bitches! The most loyal! Not even Alastair knew! Only Lilith! Yeah, I'm sure you're a little angry right now, but, I mean, come on, Sam! Even you have to admit - I'm - I'm awesome!" She stopped, breathing heavily, hoping beyond hope that Sam would listen.

"You bitch," Sam said. "You lying bitch!" He reached towards her, trying to kill her with his powers, but he ended up on the floor, clutching at his head instead. Ruby deflated a bit.

"Don't hurt yourself, Sammy. It's useless. You shot your payload on the boss."

"The blood…you poisoned me."

Ruby dropped to her knees in front of him. "No, Sammy, it wasn't the blood. It was you and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo!" She took a deep breath, trying one last time. "I know it's hard to see it now, but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it."

"Why? Why me?"

"Because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved me. You set him free. And he's gonna be grateful. He's gonna repay us in ways we can't even imagine."

There was a crash at the doors as Dean finally broke in, drawing Ruby's knife. She stood, walking towards him. With a flick of her wrist, she sent the knife flying out of his hand, leaning down to pick it up from the stone floor.

"You're too late," she said, wiping off the knife blade on her shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Sammy said, his voice broken.

Suddenly, a brilliant white column of light shot up from the center of the pattern of blood on the floor.  
"Lucifer!" Cried Ruby. "I did it - I brought you back!" A bit of the white light broke off of the column to engulf her. There was a flash of light.

 

* * *

 

Ruby was falling. Her eyes flickered open, and she found herself surrounded by brilliant white light on all sides. She could feel the air rushing past her, but everything looked the same.

"Where am I?" Ruby kicked her legs down, trying to stand up, but there was no ground to support her. "Lucifer? Is that you?"

There was the echoing sound of laughter. "Lucifer!" Ruby exclaimed. "It is you. I brought you back!"

Lucifer's voice laughed again. "Is that what you think?" he asked.

"What do you mean? I brought you back!" Ruby was confused. She'd never heard anything as patronizing as Lucifer's voice - maybe he just saw her as being young and he wanted to educate her? That must be it.

"No, you ignorant bitch, my vessel brought me back," said Lucifer. "You only satisfied his needs until he could free me."

"What?!" Ruby was shocked. "Lucifer, I guided him to you! I taught him how to kill anything in his path! I prepared him to be your vessel! It was me that brought you back, not him."

"Did you honestly think you were going to get the credit for this?" laughed Lucifer. "You're a demon. A demon slut who used to be a vile witch. A devil's whore. You're not even worthy of speaking my name. You must've been mad to think I would ever credit something like you with my glorious rebirth."

Ruby clutched at herself, her breath coming faster. It felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. Everything she'd stood for was being torn and ripped away like skin, piece by bloody piece, by the one individual she'd thought would put her back together again.

"But - but - but you're our Messiah," she said desperately. "You were going to save us all - save all the demons. You were going to save me!"

"Something like you does not deserve to be saved," Lucifer spat. "You are worthless. You have always been worthless, just like every single other demon. I was bitter and young when I created your kind - it was a mistake, I think. But at least now I have willing slaves who will do anything they can to help my rise to power."

"You're going to lie to them," Ruby realized. "You're going to pretend that you're their savior. You monster, you - you son of a bitch!"

"Now, now, little whore, hold your tongue," Lucifer said with a chuckle. "You wouldn't want to be sounding too much like Dean Winchester, now would you? I can see how much you hate him."

"Yeah, I hate him," she said. "But guess what? It looks like he was right all along. He was right to not trust me and right to try to stop you from rising again. And I'd still rather he didn't exist, but he's the only thing out there to stop you - and at least he doesn't lie and cheat his followers like - "

"I said, hold your tongue!" hissed Lucifer. Ruby's mouth snapped shut. She tried to respond, but couldn't make the words. "Ah, much better."

"So, what should I do with you?" Lucifer asked himself. "Should I return you to the Convent, let the Winchesters deal with you as they see fit?"  
Ruby's eyes opened wide, and she pulled at her mouth, trying to speak.

"Or perhaps, send you to my location and make you my concubine?" Ruby curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her knees and hiding her face at this suggestion. Lucifer laughed. "Oh, don't be alarmed. It's not as if I would ever touch something as dirty as you anyway," he continued, his voice becoming cold once more. "Who knows how many others have used you before? I don't like recycled goods."

Ruby looked up, angry, and found that she could speak again. "I'm not a slut, I have standards - "

"Perhaps I'll kill you now, " Lucifer continued, ignoring her. "The world could use less demons like you."

"I'm not afraid of dying," Ruby spat. "I'm not afraid of anything that you can do to me, you son of a bitch."

"Oh, really?" came the reply. "Somehow I doubt that." There was a pause as Lucifer considered his options.

"How many times have you dragged yourself out of Hell since you sold your soul?" Lucifer asked. "What is it, ten, twenty, one hundred? And how did you do that, exactly?" He paused, as if waiting for Ruby to answer. "Do you know how you did it?" Ruby shook her head.

"It was because you weren't trapped deep enough," he said with a sigh, speaking slowly as if to a young, stupid child. "It was because Alastair and Lilith and all those other idiots didn't send you far enough into Hell. If you'd been in deep enough, you never could've escaped so many times."

Ruby was in shock. She couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't speak. Everything she had ever imagined, everything she had dared to hope might happen when Lucifer returned, and none of it had ever prepared her for something like this. He wasn't grateful that she'd brought him back. Oh, hell no. He was cold and unfeeling - every bit the angel. She'd thought he would be different, that he would care for the demons, that he would want to maybe change things, but he was just like the rest of his brothers. Selfish, arrogant, and emotionless. Okay, so maybe Ruby couldn't fully feel emotions anymore. But she remembered feeling them, and the memory was enough for her to want to feel. Lucifer had never been human. He couldn't know. What had she been thinking?

"I suppose since I don't trust Dean Winchester, I would never want to touch something like you, and you're not afraid to die, there's only one option left," said Lucifer. "I was hoping it would come to this."

"What are you going to do to me?" Ruby asked, trying to sound brave. "I told you, I'm not afraid of anything." Her voice cracked a little on the last word, betraying the shadow of fear that she felt.

"I'm going to trap you so deep in hell that you'll never be able to claw your way out," he said. "So deep that only an angel could bring you back - and what angel would ever want to bring back a foolish whore like you?"

There was a crackling sound, and Ruby looked down to see her skin starting to burn. "No! Please, no!" She cried, her body starting to break apart.  
"Go back to Hell, little demon," laughed Lucifer.

The pain was excruciating. No torture she'd experienced in Hell compared to being burned and torn apart cell by cell. Her vision went red, then black. With a scream, Ruby disintegrated in a cloud of fire, and disappeared.


	2. A Broken Soul and That Which Killed the Cat

A column of bright white light shot out of the roof of St. Mary's Convent. Anna flinched as the clouds above her lit up, hiding behind a dumpster and praying that she wasn't spotted. The last thing she needed was a bunch of obedient angels on her tail, trying to return her to Heaven again. Holding her long hair away from her face, Anna looked up at the sky. 

"Oh, no," she murmured. "Dean couldn't stop him." Sam Winchester had filled himself up with demon blood and set Lucifer free. He was probably possessed right now, Lucifer's vessel. Poor Sammy - Anna wondered what had turned him to the Devil's side. Was it fear? Was he afraid not to fulfill his destiny? Somehow Anna doubted that. It was more likely anger. Sam Winchester always had been filled with anger and rebellion, oftentimes rebellion against the very people who were trying to help him. If Dean didn't want Sam to do something, Sam would do it. That explained his relationship with Ruby - he had to know that his brother wouldn't want him to become close with a demon, but that was probably what made him choose to follow Ruby in the first place. 

Ruby. Where was she? Anna hadn't been lying when she'd said that the demon was different. Ruby didn't seem to want the things that normal demons wanted - well, at least not for the same reasons. Ruby may have enjoyed killing, but she didn't have the capacity to kill just for the sake of seeing death. She had to have a motive, more than most demons. Anna couldn't see all of her desires, which was unusual. Usually it was absurdly easy to read demons, but not Ruby, most likely because she seemed to have actual emotions - at least to some extent. 

The column of light that was Lucifer stopped abruptly. The clouds flashed, and then the light was gone. Anna stood, pulling the rough edges of her stolen wool coat around her shoulders. _Time to go check out the convent,_ Anna thought, walking slowly out from behind the dumpster and looking down the street to make sure there was nobody else out and about. Holding her destination in her mind, Anna took a deep breath and moved her wings, flying to the front of the Convent in a second. 

The wrought iron gates were at least three times taller than Anna's human body. Reaching out curiously, Anna rested her hand on the cold metal and closed her eyes. She could feel the weight of hundreds of years of service in the iron, its age going way back to a time when things were simpler and Heaven cared about the affairs of men. With a faint smile, Anna pushed lightly, and the gates flew open, clanging against the rock walls on either side. The stone path leading from the gate to the convent was curved, going around a small garden before reaching the old wood door of the building itself. The scent of the garden was particularly strong, and as she looked more closely, Anna could see faint bootprints among the newly crushed herbs - clearly somebody had been through here in a hurry. Likely it was one of the Winchester brothers, if not both. Anna moved her wings again, flying swiftly to the wooden door, forcing it open with her mind and stepping inside. 

Anna kept alert, walking carefully, checking the walls and floor for scratch marks or bloodstains, anything that might indicate a forced entry There had to be something there. With a quick intake of breath, Anna saw what she'd been looking for - wooden doors, clearly broken open, left ajar on their hinges. She flew to the doorway and peered inside. The tang of blood and fire on the air made Anna flinch and cover her nose. She'd known that there would be blood involved, but not this much - something must've gone wrong. As she moved around the broken doors and entered the room, Anna jumped a bit, seeing broken body of Lilith's blond vessel lying dead on the ground. Beside her was a large circle of stone that was still glowing hot, ringed with her blood.There was no sign of Ruby or the Winchesters. Anna took a step inside the room.

A gleam of silver caught Anna's eye, and she flew swiftly towards it. Kneeling, Anna inspected the silver knife, wedged into the crack between two stones on the floor. Anna reached tentatively forward and pulled the knife out of the ground, inspecting the blade. _Oh, of course,_ Anna thought. _It's Ruby's knife! I thought she must've been here._ It had been wiped clean, most likely by Ruby herself, and the knife's smooth handle had the feel of both Dean and Ruby.  

"Maybe Dean stole Ruby's knife," muttered Anna, thinking out loud. "Or perhaps he already had it and she stole it back. But where is she?" 

Anna closed her eyes. She was done at the Convent - there was nothing more to be seen from the clues there. Sorting through the tangled web of souls that indicated the locations of every last human being on earth, Anna sought out the two with the strongest feeling of rebellion. The two who wouldn't shy away from the touch of an angel's mind. In a few moments she had located the Winchesters, and she flew quickly to their destination. 

"What have you done?" Anna asked after she materialized in the Winchester's dingy hotel room. Sam's eyes flew open and he was up and sitting on the edge of his bed in a flash. Dean sat up more slowly, rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand. Anna could still feel something soften within her at the sight of him, something reminiscent of the time when she had been human. Taking a deep breath, she banished the soft feeling from her mind, reminding herself that, at least at this point, it could only distract her from her goal. Dean's eyes opened, and he blinked as he saw her, jumping a bit. 

"Anna?" Asked Sam, surprised. "Is that really you?" Anna just blinked at him - wasn't it obvious?

"Anna, what are you doing here?" Dean questioned, his voice a good deal gentler than his brother's. 

"I came to hear it from you instead of someone else. What have you done? Why did you set Lucifer free?" Anna asked Sam, trying to ignore the timbre of Dean's voice. Anna took a deep breath, searching for the righteous anger she'd felt against the brothers a moment ago.

As she gave it some more thought, Anna realized that the boys must be absolutely exhausted, insane, or possibly just in shock. Who in their right mind can have a nap after freeing the king of Hell and starting the Apocalypse? "And where is Ruby?" She added, feeling the anger slowly return to her. Relieved, Anna relaxed a bit - she didn't have time to fall for Dean Winchester again, particularly not right now. 

At the sound of Ruby's name, Dean practically growled. Sam looked uncomfortable.

"She's…gone," said Sam. "She collapsed on the ground when Lucifer returned, and a few seconds later her body burst into flames and disappeared. We don't know what happened to her."

"Whatever it was, I hope it was pure torture," said Dean violently.

"What did Ruby do?" Anna asked. "I thought she was helping you."  

"She lied to Sam - used him. He never should've trusted her. Bitch got what she deserved."

"But…" Anna looked back through her memories of Ruby. "No, Dean, I'm sure she had good intentions."

"Yeah, maybe if bringing Hell on earth counts as good intentions."

Sam was looking down, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "Sam, how could you do this? Why would you bring him back?" Anna asked, not able to handle seeing Dean be so heartless. Sam put his head in his hands.

"I didn't know, I thought - "

" - What, you thought that you should just follow around that demon whore like a little lost puppy and do every twisted thing that she said to?" Dean interrupted. Anna physically flinched away from him. What had happened to make him so cruel? 

"No, Dean, I just trusted her. I know it was wrong now, but I didn't then. You thought that killing Lilith would stop her from breaking the final seal too!"

"But not after drinking a fucking boatload of demon blood like a monster!"

"That has nothing to do with the final seal!"

"Stop!" demanded Anna, the volume of her voice seeming much harsher than she intended. She put up her hand and sealed their mouths, trying her hardest not to care if she'd hurt one of them. "I'm not here to watch you two fight like children. Do you have any more relevant information? Nod or shake your head." Both brothers shook their heads. Anna waved her hand again, freeing their mouths. "Then it seems that we're done here," she said. 

Before the Winchesters could say anything else, Anna had flown back to Ilchester, Maryland. She collapsed on the steps leading up to the city's bank, and allowed her endless cycle of thoughts and curiosity to take her over.

 

\------

 

Ruby woke up to the smell of blood and metal. She hadn't known it was possible to be freezing to death and burning alive at the same time, but it wasn't exactly unexpected considering where that God-forsaken (literally) angel had sent her. The metal platform against her back was colder than an angel blade and the iron chains were almost as red as blood, scorching patterns deep enough to scar what was left of her soul. All around her, dark shapes clawed at her flesh and burned her with hot coals. Lifting her head, she looked down at herself. Her hands tightened into fists and she found herself feeling an unfamiliar twinge of pity as she recognized the body of her little dead brunette meatsuit. The skin was covered with blood, scars, and burn marks. 

She felt herself shaking as the body started to recognize the pain. It was never ending, never ceasing. _Why can I feel this? I'm a demon, I shouldn't be able to feel this kind of pain anymore,_ Ruby thought, every muscle in the meatsuit tightening as the pain grew more intense. _What did Lucifer do? How did he make me feel this again?_ Ruby had been exorcized and trapped in hell many, many times. And her experiences in the pit were never exactly pleasant, but they weren't full on torture like this - this shit hadn't happened for hundreds of years, not since she'd become a demon. It was almost like she was human again…but no, that couldn't be possible, could it?

Ruby refused to scream - she couldn't give her torturers that kind of satisfaction. Trying to ignore the pain, Ruby closed her eyes and tried to imagine that she was being tortured for information, that this would end when they gave up and accepted her silence. She'd gone through torture before, been cut open before. She'd been raped and torn to pieces and beaten by every kind of being imaginable. What was Hell compared to all of that? 

Oh, who was she kidding? Hell was all of that combined, and more. It wouldn't do any good to suppress her pain - she knew she'd end up giving in eventually. Who exactly was she resisting anyway? She let her head fall back onto the metal, giving in to the pain, her screams echoing in her own ears, bringing back vague memories from impossibly long ago when she'd first been dragged into Hell after selling her soul. Ruby hadn't felt this kind of pain since then, since the time when she still had human feelings and emotions, before she'd gotten up off of that platform and started torturing others instead of taking the abuse herself. She'd always been a fucking coward, and even after all of this, she knew she'd get up and start reaping souls again, trading her pain in for the weight of giving it to others, the second she was given the chance. 

Lucifer had said that she'd never be able to crawl back out of Hell again, and now, as her hoarse screams blended in with the voices of a thousand other tortured souls, she started to believe him. She'd never escape again without the help of an angel, and what angel would help something like her? Lucifer was right about everything - she was nothing more than a demon whore, a bitch, a slut for anyone who she needed to turn to her side. There was so much hate, so much anger inside of her - Ruby could feel it burning and growing like the scars from the chains that held her down, expanding to encompass everything. Hate of the Winchesters, hate of Hell, hate of Lilith, hate of Lucifer. But most of all - and this was what surprised her - Ruby was disgusted with herself, disgusted that she'd slept with Sam Winchester. She'd claimed to remember being human, but she could see now that she'd forgotten everything. Fucking that bastard went against everything she had stood for - how could she have forgotten? 

Ruby had forgotten what real pain felt like. She'd forgotten what real passion felt like, exchanging it for the lust of a demon - a lust for anything that breathed the same air, regardless of gender, shape, or species. She snorted - basically, Ruby had turned into everything that she'd once hated. Astaroth would be proud - she'd even forgotten why she'd sold her soul in the first place. She couldn't remember the smell of the rain or of cedar wood or of the wild roses that grew in the fields outside her house all those years ago. Blinking, Ruby felt tears dripping down her cheeks - when was the last time that she'd cried? She couldn't even tell whether she was crying because she remembered or because she'd forgotten. Maybe it was because she'd remembered that she forgot…maybe it was the pain…maybe it was the hatred that she felt. 

A burning heat tore through her stomach and she screamed out again, struggling against the chains only to cut open her arms and legs on the rusted metal. Ruby struggled and fought, cried and screamed, every inch of her burning with pain, for what felt like an eternity. Finally she fell back onto the platform and lost herself in black unconsciousness, unable to fight the pain any longer. Nightmares took her.

 

\------

 

Anna's curiosity had always been her demise. Even before she'd ripped out her grace and fell to earth, Anna had been curious. She had a deep and long-lasting need to know and understand everything around her - every event, every lesson, every person. Although she had always known that it wasn't normal for an angel to feel that way, for some reason, that fact didn't bother her as much as it probably should've. It was one of the few things that she _wasn't_ curious about - instead, she was thankful for it. It made her more human. 

There were so many gaps in the story that Anna had managed to piece together - even with both the clues that she'd gathered from the Convent and the Winchesters' account of what had happened. It sounded like Sam and Dean had fought, and Sam had run off with Ruby again, drinking an unhealthy amount of demon blood (even for an individual who's already part demon) to make him more powerful. Then the two of them had traveled to St. Mary's Convent, apparently pursued by Dean, and killed Lilith, thinking that it would prevent her from breaking the final seal. For some reason, it didn't - the final seal was broken and Lucifer rose again. Ruby disappeared, the Winchesters left, and Ruby's knife ended up wedged into the stone floor. 

But what had Sam and Dean fought over? Was it Ruby herself? How did Ruby and Sam know to go to St. Mary's and how did Dean know to follow them? Why didn't killing Lilith stop the final seal from being broken? But most importantly, why did Dean say that Ruby had betrayed them? She couldn't have done that - she had good intentions, Anna was sure of it. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on top of them, biting her lips. There had to be somewhere Anna could get all of this information. There had to be someone who knew the full story. 

Anna rested her fingertips on her temples, probing her mind for any possible information. Who could tell her what had really happened? There was Lucifer, of course, but seeking him out would be unbelievably dangerous and also probably incredibly foolish. There were the angels who were still mainly loyal to Heaven - but Michael was in charge, and he would probably lock her up and forbid her from ever coming to Earth again. She briefly considered seeking out Castiel again, because they had been close once, been on the same side once. But the last time she'd done that, he'd had her ambushed. She couldn't risk that again - she'd never find answers in Heaven. That left only a few options, and none of them were particularly tasteful or easy. 

Demons and angels didn't get along. Some might say that they were two sides of a coin, but Anna disagreed. Humans and angels were two sides of a coin. Angels were all about justice and fairness and obedience - they did what Father told them to without asking questions. Angels felt no emotions and had no desires. Humans, on the other hand, were based on desires and emotions. They questioned everything, every order that someone gave them. They were about rebellion and need and they ran on their abilities to love and the love of others. They had the capacity to be good or evil, whereas angels only _were_ \- not dark or light, just there, timeless, existing without care for anything else. The fatal flaw of humanity was that it cared too much, and the fatal flaw of the angels was that they didn't care enough. 

Two sides of a coin can always exist at once, must always exist at once to create balance in the universe. Demons, however, messed up that balance at every turn. Demons tended to be purely instinct, made up of all of Father's seven deadly sins, living their lives in malice, desire, and anger - with the exception of a few. There were demons that had actual ambition and morals, such as Ruby, and there were also demons that at least paid some thought to the morality of certain actions, whether or not they would be affected by guilt after performing said actions. That kind of demon was best personified in Crowley, King of the Crossroads. 

Anna shuddered at the very thought of interacting with Crowley - he had always made her skin crawl. The way he treated those who served him was bad enough, but the fact that he was the greatest of a collection of demons who made it their life's work to collect souls by tricking people using their desires and needs made Crowley even more distasteful in Anna's opinion. Nevertheless, the demon could be reasonable. Asking Crowley what had happened was probably the most acceptable option available to Anna at this point - it was starting to look like she would have to just shut away her disgust and go for it, if she really wanted to know the truth.

Heaving a sigh, Anna grasped the rough granite railing along the side of the steps and pulled herself to her feet. Touching her temple with the finger tips of her other hand, she sought out the demon with her mind, pulling her way through the web of consciousnesses yet again, this time looking for an ancient soul with a sense of dark humor. _Ah, there he is,_ thought Anna as she found what she was looking for. _Well, here we go again. The things I do for my curiosity._ In a few heartbeats, Anna was standing, arms crossed, in front of the King of the Crossroads. 

"Well, well," said Crowley, not looking up from the angel blade he was turning over and over again in his hands. His voice echoed around the dark, empty warehouse, the cool, still air that filled the building collecting on Anna's skin and lowering her vessel's body temperature. "I've been expecting you, darling. I knew you'd come and find me eventually." Crowley's eyes flickered up to take in Anna's windswept hair and old clothes.

"I can't say the same," Anna replied, hiding her discomfort and shock at seeing the silver angel blade in Crowley's possession. Father only knew which of her brothers or sisters the demon had stolen it from.

"Well, who else could you come to for honest and verifiable information at such a reasonable price?" Crowley spread his hands wide and shrugged. "That was a rhetorical question, if you hadn't noticed." He smiled a bit. 

"I'm not here to mince words with you, Crowley," said Anna shortly. 

"Oh, my apologies," Crowley nodded his head to her with false consideration, a mocking expression of regret on his face. "Please, do tell me what you want to know." 

"I want to know what happened at Saint Mary's Convent last night, when Lucifer returned."

"Well, you've been there yourself, haven't you?" Crowley didn't bother to wait for a response. "What more do you you want to know?"

"There's a lot that I want to know. Why didn't killing Lilith stop the final seal from being broken? Why are the brothers quarreling? And what happened to the demon Ruby?"

Crowley looked at Anna again and started to laugh. "Oh, my dear," he said, starting to toss the angel blade lightly from one hand to the other. "Do you really think I'm going to just up and tell you everything that you ask? You of all people know that there's a price for information."

"Then name your price, demon."

"Oh, that's a difficult one," said Crowley thoughtfully, sitting down on a bench and leaning back. "What can I ask for from the little fallen rebel angel? Should I take your grace? Have you find me a mortal soul in exchange? Arrange a deal with Michael - you in exchange for my safety during this whole Apocalypse business?"

"You know I won't take anyone's soul, Crowley," said Anna. "And letting you take my grace would just be foolish."

"Well, you could just give it to me," he replied, tilting his head to the side. "It'd make things a good deal easier."

Anna just stared at him. "What do you take me for?"

"Oh, I don't know," came the reply. "A desperate, disobedient angel, running for her life?" Crowley stood up and walked over closer to her so they were face to face. "A little girl with nowhere left to turn to?" He took a step closer. "A hopeless romantic with no grasp of reality?"

Anna flinched, taking a step back. 

"Listen very closely, _Anna_ ," he said harshly, advancing on her with every word. "Don't delude yourself. You are an angel with no sense of obedience. You have no one on your side, no one to catch you if you fall. _You_ are in no position to do business with anyone. I have no obligation to help you, and the only reason that I'm even bothering to offer you a trade is that I find your situation amusing. If I so pleased, I could have all of Heaven on your tail in a moment's notice. So take a moment and think. Do you want to know the answers to your questions," he stopped, face to face with Anna. "Or not?"

Anna straightened up, relishing the fact that with the added height of her boots she could look Crowley right in the eyes. "Unlike you, I have morals, you arrogant bastard," she said calmly. "And I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm not willing to damn an innocent person for all eternity simply for information."

"Well then, I suppose it'll have to be your grace."

"Let a Crossroads demon getting his filthy hands on an angel's grace? I'd have to be truly desperate."

"Then by all means, feel free to return when you've reached that point."

"Or you could make me another offer."

"Anna, Anna. You said yourself that I'm a Crossroads demon," said Crowley. "My trades are normally simple: you sell me your soul, and I grant your wish. Then, in ten years, the hellhounds come and drag you down below. Unfortunately, as you're an angel, it's a bit more complicated. I've given you two options in exchange for this information - that's far more generosity than you deserve. So take it or leave it - entirely your choice, of course. I really couldn't care less."

Anna bit her lip. She knew she couldn't take an innocent person's soul unless there was no other option, and in her opinion, pretty much any other option was better than selling something that important that wasn't hers to sell. Giving him her grace was a possibility, though. Anna didn't want her grace at all - she often wished that she could be mostly human again. If she could get rid of it again without hurting herself or putting anyone else in danger, she would do it in a heartbeat, but giving it to Crowley would be a very, very bad idea. Who knew what he would do with it, who he might sell it to? As much as she wanted to know the answers to her questions, trading in something that powerful was simply not an option. _I'll have to find another way,_ Anna realized. _I can't give him what he's asking for, and even if I could overpower him and get that angel blade, he's probably got this place surrounded with demons. I can't fight them all off at once._

"I'll have to find another source," Anna said evenly. "I can't make either trade."

"It's entirely your loss."

The corners of Anna's mouth curved up in a cold smile, the motion not reaching her eyes. 

"See you around then, I suppose," added Crowley, returning to sit down on the bench and returning his eyes to the angel blade as he played with the shiny metal. 

"I hope not," Anna replied, then turned, returning to the streets of Ilchester with a rustle of wings. 

Anna leaned against the brick wall of a restaurant courtyard, the soft voices and clinks of plates inside soothing her a bit. Needless to say, the meeting had been a complete and utter waste of time - not that Anna really expected anything more. Crowley was unpredictable for a Crossroads demon, but really, that wasn't saying much as Crossroads demons as a whole couldn't be more predictable. 

Taking a deep breath, Anna clasped her hands in front of her chest, her eyes fluttering shut. Her palms were pressed together and her fingers interlinked, a position ingrained so deeply into her psyche from years of praying that it automatically brought a rush of relief and calm to her mind. After giving herself a moment to clear her head, Anna opened her eyes again and pushed herself off of the wall. She would have to find another way to get the answers to her questions.

 


End file.
